Chapter 5: Becoming Parents and Parenting Infants and Toddlers

Promoting the Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Toddlers

Parents should seek to adapt a parenting style that is responsive, sensitive, and provides contingent responsiveness. This will increase the bond between a parent and an infant, and lead to infant trust and secure attachment. 

When infants experience contingent responsiveness, their parents allow them to be actively engaged in the role of elicitor as well as the receiver of parental attention. Parents engage their infants in contingent responsiveness when they let their infant's signals guide them to meet their needs. When infants see that their needs are met, secure attachment is developed. Discovery Fit & Health - "Theories of Cognitive Development" This article talks about the different perspectives of four theorists in regards to cognitive development: Piaget, Gesell, Erikson, and Spock. 

• Benefits of Infant Attachment:

           - Infants are more responsive.

          - Infants show a more varied means of communication and tend to cry

           less.            

         - Infants have a more compliant attitude.

           - Infants tend to grow into children who portray competence in social 
           and cognitive skills.

Helpguide.org - Bonding With Your Baby

This article talks about the attachment bond between a parent and a child. It includes what the attachment bond is, the benefits for the child, and the difference between a secure and an insecure attachment bond. It also includes myths and facts about bonding and secure attachment.

Zero To Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families - "Development of Social Emotional Skills"

I included this article because, not only does it talk about parental bonding with babies, but it provides information on bonding with your child all the way until the age of three years old. 

• When the child is between birth and 12 months old, some things the parents can do are provide responsive care, support babies' developing skills, and provide affection and security.

• When the child is between 12 to 24 months, parents can help the young toddler's problem solving skills, praise the process and not just the result, and help children learn to resolve conflict in a healthy way.

• When the child is between 24 to 36 months, parents can help their toddler understand their feelings, encourage early friendships, use language to describe feelings and experiences, and explain reasons for limits and requests.

Plumb - In My Arms

Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curly cues
Your contagious smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight 

Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around                                                          
But you will be safe in my arms 

Story books full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies 

Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms 

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you

Clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Link to Video: Circle of Security: Baby Bonding

I chose this video because the researchers at Marycliff Institute and the University of Virginia have provided more insight on baby bonding. The video mentions that 40-50% of parents raise insecurely attached children according to research in parent-child attachment.

The video also talks about a scientific experiment that is performed called "The Strange Situation". This tests the security or insecurity of the child, by placing the child in unique scenarios to activate anxiety over a 20 minute period. This reveals the level of attachment that the child has to the parent.

Attachment Parenting International

Works Cited:

Picture 1: Social and Emotional Development of Infants and Toddlers Heading

http://www.locatetv.com/tv/social-and-emotional-development-of-infants-and-toddlers/5896390

Picture 2: Baby Boy

http://www.snugbabyshop.co.uk/news/caring-for-your-baby/baby-massage-benefits/

Picture 3: Solid Attachment Quote

http://www.colorado.edu/cspv/blueprints/modelprograms/NFP.html

Picture 4: Attachment Theory Quote
http://www.positive-parenting-ally.com/insecure-attachment.html 

Song:  Plumb - "In My Arms"
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/In-My-Arms-lyrics-Plumb/D17A2A4B8AC5C41A48257376000B4E94
 

Picture 5: Baby asleep in mother's arms

http://www.soulprintsphotography.com/

Video: Circle of Security: Baby Bonding

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH1CbC4No24

Picture 6: Attachment Parenting International
http://www.orgsites.com/tn/twincitiesapi/index.html 

Chapter 4 : Child Socialization Strategies and Techniques

Effective Parent-Child Communication as a Parenting Strategy

One of the reasons that I chose to focus on parent-child communication is because communication is a very important aspect of every type of relationship that human beings will have. When you communicate with someone, not only are you receiving and sharing ideas, but you are teaching, learning, and making some sort of impact on that person's life. I believe that communication is not something that human beings can perfect. Everyone is different, and therefore, every communication experience that you will have will be different. 

Another reason, and the most important reason, is because of the way my communication skills will affect my daughter. What I say to her, how I say it, and how she receives what is said will impact her for the rest of her life. That is something that she is going to take with her as an adult, and pass on to her children someday. My goal is to continue to learn about effective communication in a way that will positively impact my family as a whole.

POSITIVE

The image on the left is a positive example of communication between a parent and a child.

NEGATIVE

The image on the right is a negative example of

communication between a parent and a child.

• Benefits of Effective Communication:-

      - Positive interactions between parents and children

      - Leads to high self-esteem in children

      - Prevents problematic behavior

      - Helps children understand how to positively interact with others

Center for Effective Parenting - Parent/Child Communication

Written by Kristen Zolten, M.A. and Nicholas Long, PhD, Department of Pediatrics, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences 

The reason that I chose this article for my blog was because of its overall content. The article expresses specific ways that parents can communicate with their children that will benefit the parent-child relationship. The article also expresses things to look out for, that will hinder that communication process. It is important to focus on the negative ways of communication, just as much as the positive, because parents could have adapted these habits without even realizing it.

Effective Parent-Child Communication consists of the following strategies:

The first three strategies focus on the prevention of problems approach, and the last strategy focuses on the resolution of conflict approach.

• Problem Ownership- Problem ownership is the ability to identify who owns the problem, when a problem arises. This technique prevents parents from placing blame on their children when problems arise in the parent-child relationship. The person that is distressed by the situation is the one that owns the problem.

• Active Listening- Active listening is a communication strategy that consists of the parent listening to the message that the child is expressing, and mirroring back the child's message, in a way that the parent understood it. When a parent uses active listening, the parent should not only pay attention to the child's message, but also to the child's body language and tone of voice. When the result of problem ownership is that the child owns the problem, active listening should be used.

          The Four Steps to Active Listening

• I-Messages - When the result of problem ownership is that the parent owns the problem, the "I-message" communication strategy should be used. An I-message is used to express the feelings of the parent, without placing blame. There are three parts to an I-message: the feelings of the sender, the behavior of the recipient, and the effect of the recipient's behavior on the sender.

          I-Message Sentence Starters

• Conflict Negotiation - The No-Lose Method of Conflict Resolution that was developed by Thomas Gordon in 1975 is a democratic approach to the resolution of conflict in parent-child relationships.This is a win-win strategy that involves both the parent and the child in coming up with a solution that both can be satisfied with.

                                                                                                                                                   The No-Lose Method of Conflict Resolution:

                                           
                                           1. Define the problem

                                           2. Generate possible solutions

                                           3. Evaluate possible solutions

                                           4. Decide on best solution

                                           5. Implement the decision

                                           6. Follow-up evaluation

                                                       

20 Ways To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen

This is a useful website that provides more conversation techniques that will help benefit parent-child communication. I found it to be very useful because it does mention techniques like eye-contact and the I-message, but it also brings up new ones such as asking open ended questions, suggesting options and alternatives, and not sweating the small stuff.

Live Science News Article: Family Dinners Increase Parent-Teen Communication

This Live Science news article talks about a new way to provide effective communication between parents-adolescents. Simply sitting down at the dinner table as a family can open that bridge for communication, and benefit adolescents in the long run. However, this is not something that should begin when the child has reached adolescent age, but something that should begin beforehand.

Martina McBride - In My Daughter's Eyes

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero                                                    
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes 

I chose this video because it shows, from mothers' perspectives, more examples of how to effectively communicate with children. Not only are these women educated in the subject of communication that benefits parent-child relationships, but they are actually able to practice these techniques with their own families and gain a better understanding from the results.

Zits Cartoon (between a teenager and a parent) 

Works Cited:

Picture 1: Parent-Child Communication  

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/topics-issues/parent-child-communication/888?task=view

Picture 2: Positive Example of Parent-Child Communication

http://gladchildhood.blogspot.com/2011/05/how-to-improve-parent-child.html

Picture 3: Negative Example of Parent-Child Communication

http://www.sodahead.com/living/what-do-you-think-about-parents-yelling-at-their-kids-in-public-places/question-1148467 

Song: Martina McBride - "In My Daughter's Eyes"

http://www.lyrics007.com/Martina%20Mcbride%20Lyrics/In%20My%20Daughter%27s%20Eyes%20Lyrics.html

Picture 4: Baby Girl

http://www.madeformums.com/baby-names/top-100-baby-girl-names-2008/202.html

Video: How to Talk to Your Child: The Best Strategies for Effective Communication

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoGCIkcJ42E

Picture 5: Zits Cartoon, Parent-Child Communication

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=201

Kimberly Nielsen

Image from Teaching Strategies for Early Childhood Image source: http://www.teachingstrategies.com/page/assess_overview.cfm

My name is Kimberly Nielsen. My husband and I are stationed in Illesheim, Germany. I spent four years in the army, and now I am enjoying my role as a military wife and a soon to be mother. We are currently expecting, and my due date is September 16, 2011. My husband and I would like to have 3 more children in the future. My educational goal is to attend school for nursing, and be an RN. I would like to specialize in the medical-surgical aspect of nursing.

This is my first college course, and I am really excited to be taking a class on parenting. When I first started this course, I knew that I wanted to be a good parent but I did not have a clear idea of what kind of parent I wanted to be. I did not have any prior knowledge of specific parenting techniques or the different styles of discipline. Since beginning this course, I have learned about different parenting strategies that I want to use to be beneficial to our children.

This is a picture of me and my husband, Garry.

This is a picture of our daughter, Makayla. This picture was taken when I was 10 weeks pregnant.

At Mommy Daddy Boot Camp Class, our instructor had all of the husbands wear a “mommy belly” and carry a doll. That explains my husband’s attire.